Okay the first part of the title isn't all that true. Since moving in with Mom things haven't been that good. I'm falling away from most of my friends, some of them annoy the hell out of those two (parents), and the two of them annoy each other. Mom is thinking about moving out, and normally one would think that i would have to go with her, but Kevin told me last night that i'm perfectly fine living there. ... Mom couldn't afford me with everything that she does. If i were to move in with her, there would have to be a stop to going to the bar every night, meaning no beer, no gambling. She would be pissed off all the time, taking things out on me. Meanwhile Kevin doesn't mind staying out of the bars, meaning no anger, just a person willing to whip me into shape so i can live on my own. And he'd be able to do it faster than Mom ever would, because she's busy pandering to her "friends" at the bar. I'm sorry, but if they are your friends, meet them somewhere other than that fucking bar! there are a lot of places that cost MUCH LESS than the BAR!

Not to mention to be honest i've been pandering to a 'friend' of mine that i need to stop. The only problem is, just as i can't say the stuff above to my mother, i can't say this to him. "You have to stop being high and mighty. You have to stop boasting how you could destroy a person with a breath if you so chose to. As much as we both believe, they don't, so i say nothing of the sort to anyone anymore. You keep dragging me into these things by shooting your mouth off and getting into even more awkward moments with everyone else. This is just getting way out of hand. While i believe that there are all sorts of spirits out there, i'm not going to be so pig-headed as to say that i have 50 dragons, 10 fairies, 99 trolls, and an elf by my side 24/7. Because there's no way its true. they couldn't be arsed to sit around and watch me twiddle my thumbs all the freaking time. but the way i see it is, if they just happen to glance my way, they're welcome to watch as long as they want. You can believe what you want, but i'm sick of hearing you say you're the greatest thing since sliced bread and everyone else can just kiss you ass." And i know that if a choice someone were on this site and reading this, they would print it off to show just this person thinking that i'm yet another enemy to vanquish, well, go right a - fucking - head. i'm fed up with having to deal with everyone's bullshit around here, and if you two want to be this everlasting force against millions of non believers, then go right ahead, i hope they find you corpses on the 12:00 news so no one has to listen to your story.

I feel that ever since i moved i only have choice real friends... and guess what? they're the four or five that i first met. Not saying that i hate everyone else, i really don't... but i feel like i've screwed up too much to recover the rest. and one i actually want to screw up without getting the shaft. My first two friends have been the greatest support since the move, and just about everyone else has been pretty supportive as well, but this one just seems to be Narcissus reincarnated... and it scares me. He didn't start out that way, at least he didn't show it at first. now ever since his first boot-knocking its been superiority above everything. "YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DO."

and once again i feel like crawling into a hole. so i'll talk to you all again when i feel like it... maybe another 10 years ought to do.